Older
by Kuroneko Hikage
Summary: When Ichigo confronts the tenth division captain about how he feels, it isn't mutual... or is it? IchiHitsu


**For:** oskalaboska

**Title:** Older  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** Slight swearing, reference to Ouran HS Host Club because I've seen it way too often recently.  
**Summary:** When Ichigo confesses his love for the tenth division captain, he doesn't return his feelings... or does he?  
**Featured Prompts:** Domestication. Sorry I couldn't fit in the others. ^^; I barely finished this in time, I've been so busy. But I tried to fit in an older Ichi! Please enjoy! ^^ -bows-

~*~**Sutaato**~*~

Ichigo sighed as lunch finally started. While school was no where near as important as saving the world, he still attended as much as he could. What was he going to do once Aizen was no more? While he could get rid of hallows as a side job, he still wanted to lead his own life, and that required schooling. He just hoped that once this was all over, he wouldn't have to drop a grade.

Meeting on the roof of the school, a sandwich and soda from the vending machines in his hands, he met up with his usual friends. Keigo was making a complete ass of himself and Mizuiro kept poking fun at him. Chad was as silent as he, and Orihime and Rukia were talking about the latest fashions and the coolness of Chappy. He shook his head. Girls, he had never been able to understand them, he still didn't, and he doubted he ever would. The only reason he kind of understood Tatsuki was because she acted more like a guy than a girl.

Long done with his food, wrappings placed in a bag of trash one of the others would take downstairs at the end of the period, he decided to drift off... until his usual group acquired a few more "newcomers."

"Hellooo~!" With that greeting, Ichigo's head snapped up. Rangiku was waving and twirling around before going to where Rukia and Orihime were, joining their conversation. Renji and Ishida immediately began to get into a heated argument about... which large-breasted girl was hotter.... Huh? He'd assumed Renji had a thing for Byakuya... Hm. And to him, Ishida just came off as a completely gay person. But it was apparent that he needed to not judge books by their cover since he talking so passionately about Shiba-san. She seemed to be more of a dominant... Ichigo took he attention away from that. He didn't want to know what sort of... things Ishida was into. Gross.  
Unfortunately for him, his irides landed on another personal problem he was having. The tenth division captain, ice-heartened genius of soul society, Hitsugaya Toshiro. Ichigo contemplated "dieing" after finishing school. But then all of his family and friends would be left here. Sure they could always visit him, it's not like Urahara was going anywhere. And he would still be going to the living world for visits, but the main reason he wanted to so was standing right there in front of him, scolding Rangiku for her stupid and overly chipper countenance.

Too bad he didn't didn't know. He hardly had enough guts to speak to him, let alone tell him about feelings and other emotional shit like that. It was all true, he was in love with him, but that didn't make it feel any less awkward. How was he supposed to tell him? _Oh, hey Toshiro! Yes, I know you prefer Captain Hitsugaya, but Toshiro is your name, it fits you perfectly, and that is why I've fallen in love with you!_ Pfft, reality is much more than that...

There was only one person who knew about his crush on the other, and she'd been sworn to secrecy under threat of decapitation. Not that she was afraid of death, but he doubted Tatsuki wouldn't need her head if she wanted to become a world champion in judo.

He also doubted Toshiro would return his feelings, but if he did... what then? Most-likely Ichigo would move to Soul Society and become a permanent fixture in the Soul Reaper rankings, maybe a vice captain or captain like Toshiro himself. It would be kind of hard for them not to. How many captains did he defeat when he rescued Rukia? Aizen was a captain, as well as Tousen and Gin, but their butts were about to be kicked out of Hueco Mundo. He could chose to live a nice, quiet life here on earth until it was his time to go, Toshiro visiting often, but would his lover want him let alone want to see him as an old man? Toshiro would look like a child, still. That... might cause some people to pause and be disgusted, whether or not they knew Toshiro to be well over ten times his age. And he's a male!

While he knew not all of the world were against gays, Ichigo couldn't picture himself with a housewife, unless Toshiro changed gender. He pondered on that, wondering if that wasn't such a bad idea...

~_The Inner Theater of Ichigo's Mind_~

_Framed with the multi-colored pastel bubbles of love and imagination, Toshiro stood in a pink apron with clips in her hair and a bashful expression. A light blush of embarrasment dusted those soft cheeks and her beautiful gaze downcast to stare at her hands._

"I... I made you lunch, Ichi-chan." She lifted a bento box and started to sway it from side-to-side. "It's not very good, but I still hope... that you like it." She revealed the contents of the box; white rice with a red heart shape in the middle. "I love you!"

Ichigo wrapped an arm around her waist, directing her face with a forefinger and thumb to gaze romantically into his eyes from a mere intense inch away. "I don't care what it tastes like. All that matters is the one who made it for me. I'll never toss your feelings aside so trivially."

"Ichi-chan...."

He threaded his fingers into her hair, tucking her head to rest under his, staring off into the distance. The framework of bubbles changed to fully bloomed roses, and the background remained an opaque pink.

~_End of Movie_~

Enamoured with his inner fantasy of them twirling about and declaring their "Love-Love" for each other, he failed to notice the fist aimed for his jaw. He was litterally knocked out of his dream and his head went flying into the fence he was leaning against. What the hell? He was just minding his own business, giving in to a really awesome daydream until lunch was over, who decided it was alright to hit him?!

Rubbing his cheek and muttering obscenities about flogging people to death - with sticks or fists or anything - for no reason, he turned and glared at his assailant. "What the hell was that... for?" His eyes met an icy set of teal. "Toshiro?"

"Hitsugaya-"

"Yeah... Anyway, is there a reason you hit me other than your personal enjoyment?" He'd seen Toshiro be angry on many different occasions, but that was usually toward Rangiku. He couldn't think of a recent time he'd pissed Toshiro off enough for him to resort to physical violence. Calling him Toshiro usually didn't result in this, either.

"I've heard something interesting from my lieutenant yesterday." _Uh-oh._ While his outward appearance remained calm and somewhat quizzical, inside he was panicking. Exactly _what_ did he hear from her. Tatsuki better not have said anything to anyone, least of all the gossip queen of soul society. He stole a glance her way, noticing the strawberry blond also stealing glances his way. But her glances were ones of mischief and glee, and Ichigo can't help but feel a little angry at not only Tatsuki, but her as well. If Toshiro _knows_ about his crush...

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about." Ichigo blinked and returned his attention to the white-haired kid. "I realize that you are young and still in school. You have a whole life in front of you, and you fall in love with a dead person?" Shit, he _did_ know. "I think you are just confused. You wouldn't have known me if it weren't for Rukia's mess-ups. You should live out a normal life. Grow up, Ichigo. Cutting your life short just to be with me is the epitome of being pathetic and sad."

Ichigo couldn't believe what he was hearing. Toshiro was rejecting him? And worst of all, he was using the "You're too young to know what you want" speech.

"Once Aizen is dead, forget about me." He was using that damn stoic tone in his voice. "Trust me, I'm sure you can find a much more suitable spouse for you, a housewife would be perfect."

He wished, somehow, that Toshiro would be able read minds. Then he could see that Ichigo didn't want a housewife. He wanted him. But try telling that to Toshiro's back, now walking away from him and to the other side of the schools roof toward his other friends. He reached out to him, hand stretched in a silent plea not to go, not to leave him alone for the rest of his life. It was no use.

And like Toshiro said, once Aizen was dead, he left him alone. He went back to Soul Society to govern the tenth division, and Ichigo went back to his normal, human life. But he never forgot about him, he was too special in his heart. He didn't kill himself, knowing Toshiro would rain his wrath upon him for ignoring him and doing exactly what he'd been told was pathetic. He wanted to, just to see him again, but he didn't, because he didn't want to lose his respect for him.

His friends were talking about him behind his back. "Poor Ichigo, getting hurt like that."

"He shouldn't have given his love to Toshiro-taichou so freely..."

"He should know that love is never that easy."

Karakura became too much for him to go on living like this. He went to the university in Tokyo, which effectively cut him off from his friends, but not completely. His family contacted him often, and he was still reminded of Soul Society when he'd spot a reaper or two. He was reminded of Toshiro... How was he going to live a long, happy life if he still remembered the stupid brat every second of his life? It was time to move further way.

After he finished college in Japan, he moved to the United States. He took a few English courses and got a green card, and settled down somewhere off the radar, into a quiet setting. Oregon had rainy weather, a town known as Coos Bay. It was perfect to fit his constant mood. Though he kept up his smile and cheerfulness for the kids he attended to, he would always let it down once he got home.

That must have been the next step in forgetting about his one true love, smiling, even though you don't want to; even though he wasn't truly happy. His kids were happy and that's all that mattered. It's why he took the job of a pediatrician in the first place. He loved kids a lot, and it was something to take away from his love of Toshiro.

Walking on the beach when the tide was low, making things out of shells he gathered from those walks and selling them, he was becoming happy, little by little. Some days he'd go out on a boat and fish with some of his fellow doctors, and then have a cookout with their wives and children. Some of them would tell him to finally get hitched, but he just gave them the same answer he'd give everyone else with that same question. "No, I don't think a housewife is just for me."

It wasn't until quite a few years later that the past managed to catch up with him.

The weather was holding up nicely. It was only partly cloudy today, and Ichigo found himself sprawled out on a park bench at the beach. The tide was slowly receding, and he was thinking about going on another walk again. He lived alone so he always had a lot of free time on his hands, but his knees weren't as young as they used to be. Now in his forties, his looks changed a bit, too. He still had his orange hair, spiked in all of different directions, but it currently was a pinwheel, streaked with gray on the sides and clinging to his roots. The lines on his face were well-placed, and he was still handsome as ever. Time was kind to him, aging him gracefully.

When he managed to get himself up and start a good pace for an older man like him to walk, the water had left the small dunes of wet sand, leaving puddles here and there. Halfway through his walk, someone had come to walk with him. He didn't care to look at them, if they wanted to walk on the beach with him, they could. America is... well, mostly a free country from the impressions he got here.

They kept just out of his line of sight, to his left and just a little behind. It mixed up the atmosphere of his walk, and he'd be lying if he said it wasn't a pleasant change. The other didn't talk, either, which left the seagulls, the waves, and the wind to be their only noise. It wasn't until after the water started to trail in did the other try to speak to him.

"Today is nice, don't you think?" It was a light, soft voice and Ichigo was thankful of that. Anything different might have disturbed the scene along with the calm and relaxing feeling he was having.

"It's beautiful, yes," was his reply.

"Do you experience this everyday here?"

It made Ichigo chuckle. So this person wasn't from around here. "I do, when I have the day off. I could live the rest of my life here." And he could. He wasn't trying to butter the place up for the traveler, just an honest local giving his opinion.

"Have you been to other places?" At his nod, the stranger continued. "Where?" His company was eager to learn about him, where he'd been, what he has done. Ichigo decided to leave out the Soul Reaper part, since he was quite sure the rules from his town carried over the world. Who in their right mind would believe in death gods?

"I'm from Japan, originally. Went to college there, then went to college here." He shrugged. "I liked the smaller towns here, so I visited a few and this one struck me like a deer in headlights. And here I am."

The stranger didn't say anything, and Ichigo could only assume he was thinking about something related to what he'd just said. His children did that. Whenever they asked him a question, he'd give an honest answer, and they would sit there and think about it. Once, a kid told his parents how he felt about them getting married. The poor thing had been distraught, and the father-to-be assured him he wasn't taking his father's place, and hoped to be as good to him as he was. They thanked Ichigo when their child said it was him who told the little one to come forward. They could finally move past their issues and become a real family.

Ichigo thought about it, about dating a woman, having kids and a house in the open. He tried to sleep on it a one time, but disasters would strike him in his dreams. How would he raise his kids? Definitely not like his father raised him. What father goes around kicking his son out of bed - quite literally - first thing in the morning?

"Sir?"

Startled out of his thoughts, he realized he'd stopped walking. Shaking his head, he continued. "I'm sorry, one thing that catches up to you is the age-old walk down memory lane."

"It's alright. I just wanted to know if maybe you miss your friends and family back home?"

He frowned. Except for a few letters from his sisters, he didn't correspond with any of them. It could be that they don't know where he is, but his sisters could have told them. Then again, they probably don't miss him. He left very abruptly. The only person that contacted him right when he arrived in L.A. was Ishida, leaving him a message and basically chewing him out for leaving before ordering him to go back. Ichigo merely had gotten himself a new number.

"I don't think any of them would be missing me at the moment. I kind of left them in a hurry." But now that he thought about it... "I guess I do miss them a little..."

"Visiting them would be a good idea." He nodded, stretching. "Why did you leave in the first place...?"

Ichigo halted in mid-stretch. _Because I couldn't be with the one I loved. Because I couldn't take everyone's pointing and sympathy. Because I wanted to start over, make new friends, ones who didn't know me and couldn't hurt me. To get over my silly crush on... Him. He lowered his arms and looked down at the shallow water still coming in._ It's... kind of hard to explain that one, and a little too personal."

He heard the person behind him give several tsks and he could imagine them shaking their head in disappointment. "Honestly, Ichigo, how are we supposed to have a relationship if you won't trust me enough to open up?" Ichigo gave a start and started to turn around. "Aren't relationships supposed to be built on trust and truth?"

Ichigo's fish face never had a chance to show itself since high school, but it was making a great comeback right now. there, only a couple feet away, is the very person that left him alone in this world to begin with. This was the very person who told him to find someone else. Why would the captain of the tenth division be here now? Well, the only way to find out would be to ask him. Unfortunately, his mouth is only able to form a circle in utter shock.

Was he dreaming? He pinched his skin, and American custom he thought to be rather silly. Nevertheless, the pain in his arm told him he was lifted an eyebrow at that, but didn't say anything. He looked to be slightly amused as Ichigo is evidently speechless. Had he really not known it was him? Toshiro's voice didn't change. Heck, nothing about him changed, except for that soft, accepting look in his eyes... Wait! Accepting?

"Toshiro... why are you here?"

Toshiro instantly glared. "First off, how many times must I pound it into that thick head of yours to call me Captain Hitsugaya!? I can understand that around normal people, it wouldn't be proper, but give me the damn title when no one is here!"

Ichigo chuckled at the others ranting. He'd missed this so much. but Toshiro wasn't done. "I've been keeping an eye on you."

This made the older Ichigo stop and tilt his head in inquiry. "Have you? Why?" He was confused with that. Toshiro didn't want him, so why keep tabs on him?

Toshiro sighed and scratched he back of his head as he thought of something to say, looking down as the water was now up to his knees. His gigai wore shorts and a tank top, but being master of ice gave him immunity to highly cold temperatures. "Ichigo, did I actually tell you 'no' in that conversation?" Ichigo couldn't remember it enough to come up with a good reply, so Toshiro continued.

"No, I didn't. I never once said that it wouldn't work out between us, eventually. I told you to search out someone different because I honestly believed that if you had some sort of romantic experience, you'd believe me when I said that I could trust you or love you at that time."

Ichigo's face scrunched up in hurt. "You couldn't? But the hallows...."

Toshiro nodded. "Yes, I could trust you in a fight, even with my life, I know you've got my back. The incident with Kusaka proved that to me." Ichigo shifted his gaze sideways. Yeah, that was a bit of an embarrassed touchy-feel-y moment. Toshiro grabbed his hand and turned his head to look back at him.

"Your feelings for me are strong and noble, I've realized that over your years. But back then, you were just... too young and immature for me. And you know what they say, what with knowledge comes age. I needed you to grown up, mentally and physically, before I could trust you with my heart. You understand?"

Ichigo nodded. He did,or at least, he thought he did. "Are you telling me you waiting this long to tell me how much you like me back to indulge in some sort of kink you have for older men?"

He cursed as Toshiro hit him over the head. He laughed as Toshiro called him every name in the Japanese dictionary. Ah good old times... And the start of new times, as Toshiro pulled him down for a sweet, elongated kiss.

~*~**Owari**~*~

Sorry this is posted so late in the day. . I was absolutely swamped. XD I hope you like this! And Merry Christmas!


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